“The New Office Machine”
An office. Harvey Korman plays the serious office manager. Tim Conway plays the new maintenance guy sent to fix a mysterious machine.
Harvey Korman (manager, annoyed):
Mr. Johnson, this machine has been broken for three days. Corporate says you’re the best technician they have.
Tim Conway (slow, confident):
Oh I am. Absolutely. Fixed hundreds of these.
Harvey:
Good. Because nobody in this office can make copies anymore.
Tim:
Copies? Oh… this is a copier?
Harvey:
Yes. That’s what the giant word “COPIER” on the front means.
Tim (leaning close, whispering):
I thought that meant cop. I figured it was some kind of police equipment.
Harvey:
Why would we have police equipment in an insurance office?!
Tim:
You’d be surprised what people insure these days.
(Tim opens the machine and pulls out random objects.)
Tim:
Well here’s your problem.
Harvey:
What is it?
Tim (holding up a sandwich):
Somebody left lunch in the toner compartment.
Harvey:
That’s impossible.
Tim:
Oh no wait… that’s my lunch. Never mind.
(Tim presses random buttons. The copier makes loud noises.)
Harvey:
What did you just do?!
Tim:
I made a test copy.
(Machine spits out dozens of papers rapidly.)
Harvey:
That’s not a test! That’s a disaster!
Tim (examining paper):
Hmm.
Harvey:
What now?
Tim:
Well… good news and bad news.
Harvey:
What’s the good news?
Tim:
The copier works.
Harvey:
And the bad news?
Tim:
It only copies my lunch.
(Papers show copies of the sandwich.)
Harvey (trying not to laugh):
Mr. Johnson… you’re fired.
Tim (cheerfully):
Great! Does that mean I can keep the sandwich copies?
